Breathe

Writing time has been hard to come by today. The Son missed school for his well-child pediatrician visit (with THREE shots, followed by a you-were-so-brave outing to Panera for lunch), and then my afternoon was consumed by ferrying my mother-in-law home from an inpatient procedure, making supper, and reading The Son a "junior" version of Anne of Green Gables. I wrote a few new opening paragraphs for the next scene, but that's all. Tomorrow I'm babysitting all morning and taking The Son to our town's Winter Carnival in the afternoon (The Husband has to work), but I'll try to cram in an hour of writing somewhere in there.

The good news of the day: I found a theme song for Akenam! As I've mentioned before, I can't write to music, but I still have a "novel soundtrack" to listen to in the car. This usually includes instrumental selections from movie soundtracks (Monsoon Wedding, Lord of the Rings, and Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon), plus a theme song each for the heroine, the hero, and the love story. Willa's theme song is "On the Road to Find Out" by Cat Stevens, and the love theme is "Fearless" by Pink Floyd. But I didn't have a theme for Akenam, and it was bugging the hell out of me.

Then yesterday I was listening to "Just Breathe" by Pearl Jam, which I've been loving ever since I saw the documentary Buck a few months ago. And suddenly it struck me how totally and completely perfect a song it is for Akenam. Seriously, angels sang. I feel like I've only ever really understood his outsides, the persona he projects; and now I understand his insides. These lines in particular have brought him into sharp focus:

Practice all my sins, never gonna let me win, uh-huh.
Under everything, just another human being, uh-huh.
Yeah I don't want to hurt, there's so much in this world
to make me bleed.
Stay with me... let's just breathe...


I listened to it in the car over and over as I drove everyone around to their appointments, and revised Akenam's backstory in my mind. I'm so excited now for him to re-enter the story. Just a few more scenes to go!